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The Impact of No

Parenthood is one of those life experiences that is amazing to go through, but feels as if you are making hundreds of mistakes within a week. I’ve discussed it at great length with many other mothers, and the results are the same. No matter what, it feels as if you’re failing. It’s completely normal. With that being said however, it is extremely important to recognize mistakes that are made. The reflection can make a person feel awful, but it’s still important to learn from those mistakes.
One of the worst mistakes I made in parenting was the word, “No.” It sounds harmless enough, a simple word used rather frequently in everyday thought and conversation. I just never realized how much I was using it. No matter how small or insignificant the request was, I thoughtlessly would answer, “No.” to it. It came to the point that my daughters would no longer even ask for something and simply take it, which infuriated me. Still, I couldn’t see the mistake I was making. Over and over I would tell them no – I justified it by selfishly think that I was having a bad day, or that they could wait. One day as I was about to tell my daughter no, I looked into her eyes and saw the hurt, resignation and sadness. I realized in an instant what I had been doing. I had let my petty, selfish mood swings control how I interacted with my children. It was a lesson I think all parents should have to learn – no matter what happens in your day, you can’t let that determine treatment of your children. Parenthood is about sacrificing whatever is going on in your day and rising above to do your best for your children, because that is what they deserve.

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Posted on February 10th, 2014 by thinspell

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