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The Space that Makes Us Closer

In marriage there are new learning experiences every day. You have to learn how to deal with a separate person’s moods, thoughts, emotions, and beliefs. Not only does one have to learn that, but then they have to keep up how to deal with their partner day in and day out. Marriage is wonderful, but it does take a lot of work. Mistakes are made, apologies traded in, and constant learning is a process.
One of my many mistakes was not learning how my husband processes his frustration and stress. We would get into a fight, or he would have a bad day at work and ask for some alone time. Naturally because the last thing I want is space during a time of stress or anger, I would bother him. I would follow him around and nag for him to tell me what was going through his mind, or demand that he let me know what was bothering him. It had the opposite effect of what I wanted though. Instead of bringing us closer, I was pushing him away with my actions. I wasn’t giving him the time he needed to calm down or de-stress – I was making it worse. Finally after doing this multiple times, I learned. My husband truly does need his space in order to process things. It won’t destroy our marriage to give him time to himself. If anything, it made our marriage much stronger. It was important to respect his privacy, respect his feelings, and to respect his wishes. I only wish that I had learned the lesson sooner.

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Posted on March 4th, 2014 by thinspell

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