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On Scribbling Little Nothings

I have been hopelessly smitten with writing ever since. Gifted with a good command of our native language as well as the universal language, I excelled in subjects related to linguistics. I was always praised for any creative writing I passed in school, and so I was led to believe anything I wrote will be superior to everybody else’s. Needless to say, arrogance got the better of me.

To further improve my skills, I sought help from books. I was entranced with the diversity of imagination offered in novels, short stories, epics, poems and the like. The difference in the quality of their works and mine became strikingly evident. The clarity by which they communicate with the readers and the cryptic yet captivating messages their pieces deliver were all beyond me.

Soon my feet were placed right where they belong –to the ground.

After the dreary realization hit me, it felt as though I were always engaged in a competition. As I struggled to win against a nonexistent opponent, I became too conscious of what I write. All I could manage then were pieces that felt so constricted, too conventional, and absolutely meaningless.

I stopped writing after that. All the notebooks which I was supposed to fill with little nothings were forsaken for long years. No longer was my laptop filled with narratives of my strange encounters in life. I longed to write a fan fiction, yet I never braved to try.

Now, I grieve for the time I wasted in hesitation, in fear. The precious time which I could have allotted polishing my skills was forever lost in time. The gap between all the exceptional writers and me widened even further, until I have finally opened my eyes to the truth that lies beneath one’s individuality.

The writings I have weaved may be meaningless to most, but the true message, which is known only to me, will never be lost. It shall remain in my memory for as long as I live. Therefore, I will keep in mind to write to express, not to impress.

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Posted on May 30th, 2013 by simplejoys

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