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Just Ask

I had just moved across the country to give living-under-the-same-roof a try with my boyfriend. I still wanted to have time for my writing and working out, but since we had been long distance for so long, he wanted me around all the time. I didn’t have the heart to tell him no, or to ask for space. Those two activities give me purpose in life and I had to subordinate them for what seemed like an unlimited time. Resentment started building up. I was feeling trapped. We are both travel enthusiast. When our next trip came up, I refused to go. He expressed sadness. Without warning, I exploded. “You are sad and upset? I don’t have a second to myself. You are doing your work when you want and now you are sad? How do you think I feel?” Luckily, he saw the deeper issue and pushed for me to talk about what was bothering me. When I finally spoke up, he said, “Why don’t you just ask for what you want? I want to spend time with you, but not if it leads to this.” I have learned not to let anger build up. When an issue makes me upset, I share it immediately. Solutions are much more likely to come during conversations rather than during explosions.

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Posted on September 22nd, 2013 by butterfly

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