Click on Home to clear spam articles.

Self-love

My first love and I dated for almost five years. We were in high school when our love bloomed for each other. We were best friends. Then college happened.

We went to different universities, approximately three hours away from each other. At first it was like nothing changed. We talked and called each other everyday until after a year later that I noticed things were changing. We no longer talk regularly and even if we did, there was nothing much to talk about. We both became too busy in our college lives that we started putting our relationship aside. Because I was already feeling that something was wrong that I decided to confront it. I asked him then if anything was wrong, or if he started to like someone else. He told me that yes, there was a classmate that he was feeling attracted to. I knew where the relationship would go so I decided to end it.

The pain was beyond excruciating. I suffered depression and my academic performance was greatly affected. I couldn’t find the will to move on no matter how much my friends told me to do so. I heard stories about him; how he was no longer the person I used to know. I did believe those stories, but it never changed what I was feeling for him.

Four long years passed before I was able to completely say that I had moved on. It was all thanks to my good girl friend who suggested that I write a letter to him. I thought the main reason that I wasn’t able to move on was that I had so many what ifs and if only. So what I did was I wrote all of those in the letter. Before I made the letter though, I clarified it to myself that this was not going to be a love letter but a letter of closure. In the letter I told him everything I wanted to say. I even said that I do love him still, but I made it clear that I no longer have any intention of chasing and getting him back.

In the P.S. part of the letter, I apologized that I wasn’t good enough. This was my mistake. I didn’t realize this soon enough because I was still hung over from the letter. Some months after, when I went back to things I did in my life, I face palmed myself when I thought of this.

No girl should ever think that she’s not good enough. We would always be more than enough and those guys who don’t see our worth would never be worth it. I’m not sorry for giving him that letter because it gave me my closure, my freedom. All that I was sorry for was that I let him made me look down on and degrade myself. Worse was that I let him knew what he did to me. But what’s done was done and I promised myself never to think less of me ever again. I know my worth know, and it’s priceless.

Processing your request, Please wait....
 
Posted on August 2nd, 2014 by bluelotus

Comments

No comments so far.

You must be logged in to post a comment.

 
 
Career/School Credit/Volunteer   |  FAQ   |  Contact Us   |  About Us   |  Terms of Use   |  Privacy Policy