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Trust is Vital

This question is heard quite a bit and always has different answers. What does it take to keep a marriage together? Obviously there is no one key answer, but rather varying answers that all play an important part. Love, honesty, loyalty, respect, communication, laughter and trust. When my husband and I first got married, I thought it was all about love. I thought anybody can make it by with their love for each other. My mistake was neglecting the other key parts that keep a marriage strong.

When my husband and I were newlyweds, we were rather young. There is nothing wrong with getting married young, but it takes a certain amount of maturity in order to stay married. I was rather immature and incredibly jealous of just about everything my husband did. For instance, if he went out to play football with his buddies or was texting on his phone I was a jealous wreck. I would call him and text him constantly when he was out. I would steal his phone and scour through every contact, text message, email and anything else I could look through. I even found a way to hack into his Facebook page and delete multiple women who I deemed too pretty – even though he never even talked to any of them. My lack of trust was so bad that I would constantly accuse him of doing things, thinking things and was systematically destroying our marriage. One day, I sat down to lunch with my mother. We began talking about little things before I blurted out my jealousy issues. My mother paused before saying in a serious, quiet tone, “Has he given you any reason not to trust him?” I sat there, thinking through every moment of our marriage and our relationship. I couldn’t come up with a single reason. He had never lied to me, he had never done anything behind my back, he spent every moment with me and when he wasn’t, he was constantly updating me on what he was doing and where he was at. He didn’t even have female friends. From that moment on I squashed any jealous feelings or anxieties over lack of trust. I made an effort to give him trust and respect for his space. It took nearly nine months, but I finally got over it. I learned my lesson that in order to have a solid relationship you have to have trust, for it is vital.

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Posted on October 1st, 2014 by Anonymous

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