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Acceptance of fate

When my father died in 2008, I have taken over the leadership in the family-the oldest child and the only working daughter at that time. My Mom is young but she seemed to have lost her identity due to absence of power and voice in our home.

My younger sister graduated in 2010 which made us a little bit financially liberated while my Mom and our 2 younger brothers stayed in the province.

I and Maya, my younger sister worked hard enough to provide for the entire family. Every requirement, whims, wants as long as the pocket can afford, we provide.

One time after several months from being apart from each other, Mom sent our youngest brother (8 years old) to Manila for a short visit in the city. I was surprised with how my brother looked like-thin, dark, and with skin rashes as apparent signs of lack of heed from a guardian.

We tried to understand our Mom as we can never empathize on the difficulty of being a widow, but at that time, I asked for fairness.
I asked why she is evading her responsibilities as a parent.

I asked why my brother is treated that way when all we do is work to give them better lives.

I asked why I was given an irresponsible Mom.

At that instance I decided to get my 2 brothers to live with me in the city and leave Mom in the province for her liberty. A concerned friend asked me to step backward and ask myself I am doing these things. What am I trying to prove? The heart can not lie. It answered me back. I was doing it to show my Mom I am a better mother. I’m trying to show she’s wrong and I am right. I tried to show Mom she has no worth at all.

Good thing I was awakened from such deep sleep which almost ruined us as a family. We live in the city together now, proving me time and again that we need our Mom.

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Posted on November 12th, 2014 by aprilmusa

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