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Learn to Forgive

A common expression heard throughout all ages is ‘forgive but don’t forget’. Forgiveness in itself is an incredibly hard act, but it doesn’t take an exceptionally strong person in order to forgive. Anyone is capable of forgiveness. It just takes a willingness to do so. Forgiveness is something that is necessary in life, but can be quite hard to learn. Withholding forgiveness, though, is a huge mistake that I have made many a time.

The beginning of my husband’s and I’s marriage was filled with flaws. We both treated each other badly, just in different ways. My husband was callous and cold to me, often playing video games to put a wall between us. He would choose his friends over me, make cutting comments about my minimum wage job and pick fights over nothing. I played my part in it as well, acting immature, spoiled and jealous. We weren’t treating each other with respect. We both realized that our actions were detrimental to our marriage and started taking steps to being happier together. Yet no matter what, even at the slightest regression he made, I would throw all his past actions into his face to guilt him. That’s not forgiveness. Forgiveness is the act of letting it go. It doesn’t mean that you have to forget what happened; it means you have to stop talking about it, stop bringing it up, stop trying to make the other person feel guilty about it. Even though I said I forgave him, I hadn’t. So I made an effort to not bring it up, put it in the back of my mind, and try to give him new chances. That’s why the expression ‘forgive but don’t forget’ is the key to learning how to forgive other people.

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Posted on December 3rd, 2014 by Anonymous

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