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Forgiveness

Cheating is never a good thing. Yet it seems to be a commonplace in society. People cheat on their spouses, taxes, tests, and much more. We all know it’s wrong, yet it seems to be something that has become accepted.

I have made the mistake of cheating. I live my life without regrets. Even though I know it was a mistake I wouldn’t change it. Every mistake we make along the way helps to mold and shape who you are. I’m not saying that your mistakes define you. What you learn from those mistakes changes you though. It may be a small change that makes you look at one thing differently or it can be something that alters you to your core.

Cheating for me had the later affect. My boyfriend at the time was in the Army and I felt abandoned. I had been through a lot of difficult times and couldn’t handle being left to my own devices. I was out of control and reckless. I hurt so many people while I was busy hiding from my grief. This boyfriend was definitely hurt by my actions.

I was also deeply hurt. My actions caused me to lose someone I loved. For someone who had spent years blaming everyone else for my pain it was hard to accept that I only had one person to blame…me. At the time I desperately wanted him to forgive me. Yet I hadn’t changed. I didn’t deserve forgiveness. I was still on the same reckless path that led me to hurting him to begin with.

Once I did finally deal with my grief I only felt worse for all of the people I hurt. I spent years hoping to receive the forgiveness that I had never gotten from him. That’s when I learned one of the most important lessons in my life to date. Sometimes you have to forgive yourself. You can’t put your life on hold hoping someone else will grant you that forgiveness.

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Posted on December 9th, 2014 by Anonymous

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