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An experience of shop lifting

I came to know about the term shop lifting when I was in 8th standard. There was a drama broadcasted in TV and it was about a girl who shop lifted and feeling guilty afterwards, she punished herself. It was a unique drama and had a lasting effect on my teen mind.
In the next few days, I could not stop thinking about the drama and the idea of shop lifting flourished in my mind. It was like a headache that did not have a remedy. To me it was the best plan I had ever came with. I would not be the loser and the dumbo that my classmates called me, not anymore. I could prove myself how clever I was.

A new chain shop had inaugurated opposite to my school couple of months’ ago. One fine morning, I stepped inside the door of the shop. I tried to look casual, but the upcoming thrill was causing tension and I was sweating. I roamed a good two minutes through the racks, pretending to shop.

When I went to the counter, I handed the shop keeper two snicker bars. What he did not know that I had picked three snicker bars from the rack, one I had hidden in my pocket. My face was red with all that blood rushing upwards; as I was having such an adrenaline rush. I thought the shop keeper would hear my heart beating like a heavy drum.

I stepped outside the shop without being caught.
I felt like being on the top the world. I could not stop thinking about the triumph.
If only my classmates could knew. They would worship me. Nobody has ever done this much cleverish act that I have done today.

I felt ecstatic for half an hour, but then…. The feeling of guilt began to bite me. I could not think of myself, the shame that I have taken on my head. My parent’s faces flashed right in front of my eyes and I could not feel any worse than that. I had failed my parents too, all the morals and ethics they had taught me, and I made a wastage of those. I wanted to run, as fast as I could, I wanted to punch myself with every bit of strength that I could muster. Now I know exactly why the girl in the drama scratched and bit her own hands, because I wanted to hurt myself as badly as she did at that time.

“It was only a snicker bar; a half dollar would make no difference to the shop owner.”- I tried to console myself. But it was no use. A half dollar might or might not mean anything to the owner, but it felt like a burden as heavy as mount Olympus to me.

I gave a thought of going to the shop after school and returning the candy to the shop keeper. But then I thought I could not have the courage to look into his eyes. And what if he calls my parents and tells them everything. I could even end up into the hand of police.

Till date, nobody knew this incident. When I was browsing the internet, I found this website and read the mistake scenarios that everyone has wrote. I thought I could do this, I could write about that mistake and get some relieve from that Thorne that has been prickling me since I was 14.

I know, youngster in high school think little about aftermath and set foot into pranks, dangerous stuff and what not. But how much you can suffer, in real life and inside your soul, will only occur after you have done something. I want to tell those youngsters and their parents and siblings to tell them about my experience. I can not forgive myself till date.

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Posted on February 4th, 2015 by Anonymous


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