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Lying is conditional

You may not realize it, nor will you admit it, but children only copy what they see in adults. Our pattern of behavior affects them, it molds them, and it becomes them. It creates for the kids’ acceptable standards, maybe not the standards at school or outside the home, their parents foster for themselves.

Trust is a very fragile thing. Break it once and it rests in pieces forever. But before you go, being harsh to your child like made the mistake of doing, preaching about trust and truth, stop and observe your own attitude towards truthfulness. There is simply no conditional version of the truth. A fib is still a lie. An untruth is deceitful no matter how you look at it. A small lie is still a falsehood.

One day, my kids and I were busy doing something in the kitchen. We were cooking up a great deal food for a family gathering. The phone rang, my daughter ran to answer it, told me it was my best friend. She needed to talk to me about something urgent, and so my daughter came back with the important message. I told her to go back, to tell my best friend that I was asleep. I did this because I was knee-deep in cooking, and there was no way I could get out without burning something, moreover without disappointing someone. So she went back to the phone and followed my instructions. I made the mistake of asking my daughter to lie for me.

One day she did the same thing to me. I was so mad when I got home. I found out she did not follow any of my instructions and the reason why she did not answer my phone call. It was because she was busy doing something, and did not want to be disturbed. I reprimanded her and she replied, “Mommy, how come it is ok when you do it and it becomes wrong when I commit it myself?” I was stumped. I apologized for my inconsistency. I corrected that in me and had made a pact to be honest and truthful in our dealings.

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Posted on October 3rd, 2013 by rainbowexpress2013


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