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We are all different in some way although we know that we are the same. We are all unique in every way despite the fact that we are all human anyway. Similarities and differences, what does it matter? Well, to some it does. Unfortunately, it mattered to me at some point in my life too. Let’s face it. We all hate people who judge others because of their appearance, their racial ethnicity, their culture, their attitude, their disabilities, their clothes, their everything. It may not matter to me now but in the past I know it did.

When I was in the last years of elementary school and in the first years of high school, I was bullied. To them, I wasn’t someone worthy to belong to their group. I was an outcast and was never proud of it. During the same time, my younger sister was born. She was supposed to be born normal unfortunately, due to unforeseen circumstances, she became a special child. Yes, she is with a disability but that doesn’t mean she isn’t of the same worth as me. Time flew by so fast and I finally became an adult but I have changed and now that I am older, I believe I didn’t change for the better. I became a mean person even if deep inside I was kind. I started to value what I see more than what I couldn’t. I became shameless in ranting and judging others as I set aside their feelings without considering that they will get hurt in the process. It was a difficult time for me because I wanted to stop but couldn’t. I knew I should have been stronger then to have overcome such an ordeal.

Luckily as time passed, I have become more and more at peace with myself. Perhaps I was only what I used to be because despite being an adult, I was still young and reckless. My rebellious years weren’t over and I was still getting used to my independence. I was still angry to the world even if I didn’t show it. It only reflected on the things I did and said to others. I do not want to go back to that time of my life. I regret that I became one of the people that I hate. I hated the bullies that judged me in the past. I hated those who judged me and thought I wouldn’t be successful in this world and most of all, I loathed those who stared at my younger sister because she was in a wheelchair and that she didn’t speak normally. I cannot believe that I became one of them. I am glad that I am not any longer. I have finally come to my senses. I cannot imagine continuing being that way.

If I can only undo the things that I did to others and or what I have said to them so that the pain that I have caused them will be gone forever then I would. Unfortunately, I do not think I can ever do so which is why I feel so guilty as I continue regretting the monster that I became in the past. I am glad I am back to my kinder self now. I think I will convince others to do the same if I knew where they were coming from and what they were before. In the end, I learned that even the people that you hate can become you if you are not careful. Now, I have learned my lesson. I think I am a much better individual now. I thank God for that.

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Posted on June 10th, 2015 by kittypaws


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