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You are not alone

When my father died in 2008 and I was left as the head of the family, I felt like I am carrying the entire universe on my shoulders. With 3 students and a mom I had to feed, clothes and send to school, I became a miser.

Combination of grief due to loss of a father and difficulty because of the huge responsibility transferred to me pushed me away from my family.

I hated my sister (second to me) due to her total dependence and lack of sensitivity. I always feel like she’s always overspending the allowance I give her. I am miserable that I made her world as miserable as mine.

I hated my Mom’s over dependence as well. I felt like I am not supposed to take on everything since my Mom is young and strong. From there, I sought for comfort and freedom from other people.

This went on for 2 year until my boss told me I am more blessed that I am used as a channel of blessing for my family and that I was blessed because I am not the one who asks for money.

Hearing this made me realize how cruel I am to my family. I realized we were snatched of the right to grieve due to the circumstances we were in. I forgot they lost a loved one as well. I have lived in misery and forgot to appreciate blessings poured on me.

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Posted on July 25th, 2015 by aprilmusa


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