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Relax and Be Calm

I was born as a moody type of person. There are situations that could really cheer me up and I joke a lot. Sometimes, I frown and don’t like to talk to anybody. In some other times, I easily get irritated and become insensitive to the feelings of the others. But our moods will determine what type of person we are. People’s treatment towards us depends on how we also treat them. I learned a lesson about this statement. I once made a big mistake in letting my mood swing for many times that my working relationship with my friends was greatly affected.
During my college years, I only had identified friends and they were at the same time my classmates. I was not as friendly as others because I believed that friendship is not established right away in a single encounter but it is built after long period of time. They were my classmates since my first year in college that is why I felt at ease with them. I was known by them as “moody”. Some of my girl classmates were afraid to fight against me or disagree to all my ideas because they know how monstrous I am when I get mad. Frequently, I met quarrels with other students and never surrendered to any challenges dared to me by anyone. In the other side, my classmates were glad that they were behind me because they have a defender.
One time, I was upset to one of my classmates when he didn’t show up to our agreement. I came to school without assignment and the worst; I was scolded by our teacher. I confronted him right after our class in the afternoon. I shouted at him and express how much I was disappointed and mad at him. He tried to explain but I didn’t give him the chance to talk. I kept on ranting on him as if he had a very big fault. In fact, I was really wrong that time because I didn’t find a way and became irresponsible. Still, I was not sorry. I didn’t talk to him for several days. Until one time, he was just surprised when I hold his arm and invited him to join our lunch in our favorite fast-food store. I noticed in the corner of my eye, my classmates were shaking their head, as if they didn’t understand me all the time. They had hard time in dealing with my mood and didn’t know when is the best time to approach me is.
If I had a problem, all my friends were affected because I argue with them and never talk to them. The next day, my good mood comes back. If ever I encountered situations which don’t favor me, I rant and murmured and blame them. There are times that I knew I was not anymore fair to my classmates. But I couldn’t also control my feelings; I am naturally frank and outspoken. I don’t want to be plastic. But the big question for me that time was “Were my classmates also true to their feelings and treatment to me?” I asked sorry to my classmates if I was rude to them most of the time and asked their patience and understanding in dealing with me. It was not really a fair request but I have to so that I won’t lose my very close friends and nobody will be left to me.
But there was one situation which pushes my classmates’ patience to its limit. We had one classmate who was super dedicated in doing school assignments. As friends, we agreed to stick to our motto which goes “all for one, one for all”. It happened that most of us didn’t make the project for finals given to us by our biology teacher, except her. We were silent while she passed her own project and didn’t even bother to ask us if we were done. Our teacher was very angry and scolded us. Because I treated him as traitor, my mood was turned into an evil one. While my teacher was scolding us, I suddenly stood and keep on pointing my classmate. I shouted at her and called her traitor. She also fought back and shouted. My teacher was insulted when we kept on fighting in front of her. She banged the table and told us to go to the guidance office as our punishment. I was shocked. If we’ll go to the office, then we will already have a bad record to the school and it shouldn’t be because we were graduating students. In addition, our teacher didn’t give us our final exam if we will not pass our project. She added plenty of activities which couldn’t be finished in one night even if we will work together. My classmates looked at me in teary eyes. I could see their blaming eyes but the words didn’t come out of their mouth. I got silent. It was my fault again. If I just calmed, we were not in the bad situation. My classmates should have not included to my wrong doings.
The next day, I went to our teachers’ office. I asked forgiveness and begged not to include my classmates to the punishment. That was the only way I could feed my conscience and guilt. But my teacher didn’t agree. The punishment was given and she won’t change a bit of it. What have I done? Was this the consequence of my undefined mood? My classmates and I still continued the unfinished project but their treatment to me was already called. They were not anymore chatting with me. I wanted to cry that time and say sorry but my pride kept on telling me not to do it. It was a big mistake. To be moody is to be responsible for yourself. Sorry to all my classmates and I will really try my best not to do this again.

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Posted on January 6th, 2014 by girl_n_888

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