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Overly-Pushy Sister

I don’t want to be an over-pushy sister who would want to take direct control over my siblings’ lives. We are all unique and we cannot love the same things. Liking the same things would be boring, and that’d be, well, quite unusual.

But the only thing I don’t want them to do is to commit the same mistakes I did. I don’t want them to live their lives pleasing everybody. I want them to take their strides and do what they really want to do, of course with the guidance of our parents. I don’t want them to be confined to a closed world, to lead a one-directional life. As much as possible, I want them to be as dynamic as they can be.

I may have committed those mistakes before, but never do I want my siblings to be caught in that same kind of deep-falling hole. I want them to get through adolescence without experiencing what I’ve been through, like my perfectionism, sense of entitlement and irresponsibility.

I don’t want to put labels, but I’m here to introduce to them every single activity I can to inspire them to try these things, and to let them discover what they love doing. I don’t want them to just choose between A, B, C; but, A to Z and 1 to a million.

As much as I didn’t want to be an overly-pushy sister, I gave them a list of what I wanted them to do for this year, much like a Bucket List: joining a triathlon, joining a volunteer group, learning fencing and lawn tennis, learning to play the guitar…

I was pushing them to do these things, always encouraging them after school to attend their extracurricular classes. For some months, I kept on pushing them, encouraging them, to be more well-rounded individuals. But then after everything, it hit them: this scheme is burning them out. Their grades fell, they always felt tired, and they had almost no energy to eat, to play, to talk and laugh. They were burnt out of everything.

And then I realized that although my motivation to push them was grounded on wanting them to be more well-rounded individuals, I cannot, and could never, dictate to them what they want to be in this life. I can only guide them, but I could never hinder them in what they really want to be. As much as I didn’t want to become pushy, eventually, I became my own enemy.

I am still the sister who forever supports my brothers, but I don’t push them now anymore. I cheer for them, encourage them, and keep them going if the going gets tough. And I can see excellent results, because it’s what life is all about—doing what you love, and living your mission with a purpose.

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Posted on February 18th, 2016 by stargazer

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