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I Should Have Told The Truth

Courage doesn’t only mean you need to fight physically in order to show it to everybody. It also means you have the strong heart to fight for what you believe in and never afraid to express the true feelings even though you know the risk ahead. I was once known as a brave girl, when I encountered many physical fights against other girls. However, the courage of my heart was not evident when I failed to spill out the truth and put someone in a bad situation. The mistake I made was really not a good value because I tolerated people in their wrong doings and my other friends were very much affected by what happened. If only I told the truth that time, she would have been free from wrong accusation. But according to the sayings, mistakes make a man complete; if there are no mistakes, life will become boring.
When I was still little, I was boyish and a fighter. Nobody dared to negatively react on my whereabouts because they are slight afraid I will fight back on them. I encountered several physical fights with other girls who kept on making gossips about me and were envious of my achievements in school. I was never afraid to be punished because I believed if I become brave to the eyes of everybody, then nobody can put me down. I brought the same attitude when I entered high school. In the classroom, most of my close friends were boys. Most of my classmates labeled me as “lesbian”, but I never became one. In my heart I was still a girl. I just enjoyed the company of the boys because they were not gossipers unlike most girls in school.
My outlook in life was changed when I started to have crushes; of course they were boys. Little by little I turned to be a lady and began to wear more feminine outfit. I tried to mingle with other girls and they became my friends. Yet, the fighter aura was still in my attitude because I was used to it. The boys who I was with always before was just turned to be mere acquaintances already. They didn’t complain I separated with them. In my mind, I knew that one of the reasons why I separated myself from them was drugs. Some of them were already addicted to drugs and I never wanted to ruin my life, so I avoided them. My new girl friends were sweeter and very caring to me. They became so special to me now. As a consequence of turning my back to the boys, I have to keep my mouth shut about what I heard and saw about them. I never knew it became the reason for some conflicts in my life.
One morning, our teacher gathered us early in the classroom. Her reason was a serious case. She found a small sachet of prohibited drug on the CR floor. Nobody could use the CR except our class section. Our teacher told us that if nobody will say who the owners were, then the last persons who left last day will become the primary suspects. In my thoughts, I knew who were involved in drugs. But my heart beat so fast when I remembered that one of my closest girl friends was the last one to leave the classroom yesterday because she made the assignments for today. Silence covered the whole classroom. I suddenly felt my vibrating cell phone in my pocket. I opened the phone and I received a text message from Kurt, my friend before. He was threatening me! He threatened my life if I will tell our teacher the truth. I was very nervous.
My mind and conscience were fighting inside me. I was afraid of my classmates and at the same time I felt sorry and pity to my friend because I really know she was innocent. I kept on thinking what to do. I thought I was courageous enough but now, the whole part of my heart was covered with fear. In the end I decided to keep quite to restore my life. For me, I knew the capability of the real suspects and they might really do what they told me. But what will happen to my best friend? Will I just let her suffer the consequences from the things she never did? This was injustice to her part. But I was fully decided to keep quiet and save my life first.
The next morning, I never saw my girl friend. It was almost a week that she was absent. I asked my classmates about her. I was very late about the news. She was kicked out in school the other day and will never be allowed to enroll again in the school forever. I wanted to cry. I was not brave at all. I let fear overpowered me. I should have told our teacher the truth and ask protection for her just to be fair to my friend who was very loyal and caring to me. I was very guilty. I was the only one who could have saved her from false accusation. From then on, I never saw my friend again. I only heard the news that she was sent abroad by her parents. Until now, I feel guilty every time I remembered the situation.

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Posted on January 18th, 2014 by girl_n_888


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